Naughty Children

Satyam (Nursery) Rhymes

Raju Raju sat on the wall
Raju Raju had a great fall
Balance sheet died
Shareholders cried
Raju Raju made a fraud

Raju Raju
Yes baba
Cheating us
No baba
Telling Lies
No baba
Open the balance sheet
HA HA HA

Pakistanis Being Taken Everywhere

Three guys, a Pak, a Sri Lankan and an Indian are out walking together one day.

They come across a lantern and a Genie pops out of it.

"I will give you each one wish, that's three wishes total" says the Genie.

The Sri Lankan says, "I am a farmer, my dad was a farmer, and my son will also farm.

I want the land to be forever fertile in Sri Lanka." With a blink of the Genie's eye,'FOOM' the land in Sri Lanka was forever made fertile for farming.

The Paki was amazed, so he said, "I want a wall around Pakistan, so that no foreigners can come into our precious state."

Again, with a blink of the Genie's eye, 'POOF' there was a huge wall around Pakistan.

The Indian asks, "I'm very curious. Please tell me more about this wall."

The Genie explains, "Well, it's about 150 feet high, 50 feet thick and completely surrounds the state.Nothing can get in or out."

The Indian says, "My wish is that you fill it up with water."

Tomorrow can be too late

If you're mad with someone , and nobody's there to fix the situation... You fix it .
Maybe today, that person still wants to be your friend . And if u don't,
Tomorrow can be too late .
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If you're in love with somebody, but that person doesn't know... tell her/him.
Maybe today, that person is also in love with you .
And if you don't say it,
tomorrow can be too late .
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If you really want to kiss somebody... kiss her/him.
Maybe that person wants a kiss from you, too . And if you don't kiss her/him today,
tomorrow can be too late .
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If you still love a person that you think has forgetten you... tell her/him.
Maybe that person have always loved you. And if you don't tell her/him today ,
tomorrow can be too late.
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If you need a hug of a friend... ask her/him for it.
Maybe they need it more than you do. And if you don't ask for it today,
tomorrow can be too late.
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If you really have friends who you appreciate.. . tell them.
Maybe they appreciate you as well. That if you don't and they leave or go far away today , tomorrow can be too late.
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Tax Structure in India. Funny But True

Some one Help me on TAX

1) Qus. : What are you doing?

Ans. : Business.

Tax : PAY PROFESSIONAL TAX!

2) Qus. : What are you doing in Business?

Ans. : Selling the Goods.

Tax : PAY SALES TAX!!

3) Qus. : >From where are you getting Goods?

Ans. : From other State/Abroad

Tax : PAY CENTRAL SALES TAX, CUSTOM DUTY & OCTROI!

4) Qus. : What are you getting in Selling Goods?

Ans. : Profit.

Tax : PAY INCOME TAX!

5) Qus. : How do you distribute profit ?

Ans : By way of dividend

Tax : Pay dividend distribution Tax

6) Qus. : Where you Manufacturing the Goods?

Ans. : Factory.

Tax : PAY EXCISE DUTY!

7) Qus. : Do you have Office / Warehouse/ Factory?

Ans. : Yes

Tax : PAY MUNICIPAL & FIRE TAX!

8) Qus. : Do you have Staff?

Ans. : Yes

Tax : PAY STAFF PROFESSIONAL TAX!

9) Qus. : Doing business in Millions?

Ans. : Yes

Tax : PAY TURNOVER TAX!

Ans : No

Tax : Then pay Minimum Alternate Tax

10) Qus. : Are you taking out over 25,000 Cash from Bank?

Ans. : Yes, for Salary.

Tax : PAY CASH HANDLING TAX!

11) Qus.: Where are you taking your client for Lunch & Dinner?

Ans. : Hotel

Tax : PAY FOOD & ENTERTAINMENT TAX!

12) Qus.: Are you going Out of Station for Business?

Ans. : Yes

Tax : PAY FRINGE BENEFIT TAX!

13) Qus.: Have you taken or given any Service/s?

Ans. : Yes

Tax : PAY SERVICE TAX!

14) Qus.: How come you got such a Big Amount?

Ans. : Gift on birthday.

Tax : PAY GIFT TAX!

15) Qus.: Do you have any Wealth?

Ans. : Yes

Tax : PAY WEALTH TAX!

16) Qus.: To reduce Tension, for entertainment, where are you going?

Ans. : Cinema or Resort.

Tax : PAY ENTERTAINMENT TAX!

17) Qus.: Have you purchased House?

Ans. : Yes

Tax : PAY STAMP DUTY & REGISTRATION FEE !

18) Qus.: How you Travel?

Ans. : Bus

Tax : PAY SURCHARGE!

19) Qus.: Any Additional Tax?

Ans. : Yes

Tax : PAY EDUCATIONAL, ADDITIONAL EDUCATIONAL & SURCHARGE ON ALL THE CENTRAL GOVT.'s TAX !!!

20) Qus.: Delayed any time Paying Any Tax?

Ans. : Yes

Tax : PAY INTEREST & PENALTY!

21) INDIAN :: can i die now??


Ans :: wait we are about to launch the funeral tax!!!
Tax Structure in India....... Funny But True

Think Positive

This is nice - finding positive out of every negative - which we don't always manage to do.

I am thankful... 1. For the husband who snores all night, because he is at home asleep with me and not with someone else.
2. For my teenage daughter who is complaining about doing dishes, because that means she is at home & not on the streets.
3. For the taxes that I pay because it means that I am employed.
4. For the mess to clean after a party because it means that I have been surrounded by friends.
5. For the clothes that fit a little too snug because it means I have enough to eat.
6. For my shadow that watches me work because it means I am out in the sunshine.
7. For a floor that needs mopping, and windows that need cleaning because it means I have a home.
8. For all the complaining I hear about the government because it means that we have freedom of speech.
9. For the parking spot I find at the far end of the parking lot because it means I am capable of walking and that I have been blessed with transportation.
10. For the noise I have to bear from my neighbours because it means that I can hear.
11. For the pile of laundry and ironing because it means I have clothes to wear.
12. For weariness and aching muscles at the end of the day because it means I have been capable of working hard.
13. For the alarm that goes off in the early morning hours because it means that I am still alive.
AND FINALLY... for received e-mails because it means I have friends who are thinking of me, at least.

Support Raj Thackeray

1. We should teach our kids that if he is second in class, don't study harder.. just beat up the student coming first and throw him out of the school

2. Parliament should have only Delhiites as it is located in Delhi

3. Prime-minister, president and all other leaders should only be from Delhi

4. No Hindi movie should be made in Bombay. Only Marathi.

5. At every state border, buses, trains, flights should be stopped and staff changed to local men

6. All Maharashtrians working abroad or in other states should be sent back as they are SNATCHING employment from Locals

7. Lord Shiv, Ganesha and Parvati should not be worshiped in our state as they belong to north (Himalayas)

8. Visits to Taj Mahal should be restricted to people from UP only

9. Relief for farmers in Maharashtra should not come from centre because that is the money collected as Tax from whole of India, so why should it be given to someone in Maharashtra?

10. Let's support Kashmiri Militants because they are right in killing and injuring innocent people for the benefit of their state and community..

11. Let's throw all MNCs out of Maharashtra, why should they earn from us? We will open our own Maharashtra Microsoft, MH Pepsi and MH Marutis of the world

12. Let's stop using cellphones, emails, TV, foreign Movies and dramas. James Bond should speak Marathi

13. We should be ready to die hungry or buy food at 10 times higher price but should not accept imports from other states

14. We should not allow any industry to be setup in Maharashtra because all machinery comes from outside

15. We should STOP using local trains... Trains are not manufactured by Marathi manoos and Railway Minister is a Bihari

16. Ensure that all our children are born, grow, live and die without ever stepping out of Maharashtra, then they will become true Marathis
JAI MAHARASHTRA!